Categories
Trauma

Should I date a person missing finger or fingertip?

My new girlfriend doesn’t have a finger, should I still date her?
My new boyfriend has half a digit missing, should I run away?
Missing fingers
Such palmistry appear in online Q&As with surprising regularity.

This is alarming by at least two factors. First, developed countries still seem to have a high level of finger amputation accidents. Second, something is really wrong with our society. I would like to state some points for those in dating dilemma.

  • People normally don’t lose body parts voluntarily. Your partner is a victim of bad luck, an accident or some prank went terribly wrong, by no means s/he is a pervert. What s/he probably requires is support, not alienating.
  • Missing fingers or digits doesn’t render someone a cripple. You won’t need to sacrifice your life giving this person some cheerless special dedicated treatment. S/he is quite self-contained.
  • Our likes or dislikes of someone’s looks are plans for future procreation. That’s right. Our subconsciousness analyzes the person’s appearance for defects that could have hereditary roots, and rejects everyone with such signs. Abnormal looking species don’t get laid, and thus produce no offsprings to pass on bad genes. That’s how evolution works. But losing fingers in an accident is an acquired defect, and doesn’t mutate the DNA in any way.The person’s genes are the same as prior to the amputation. Bad luck is also not hereditary.
  • In good relationships, damaged fingers are everyone’s favourites, not the disgusted ones.
  • Minor amputation is still a big stress, and whose who overcame that with dignity, commonly are somewhat more mature about the vicissitude of life.
  • Amputees have to deal with inconveniences every single day, and thus may turn out to be stronger personalities. You know, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
  • Scan yourself. You probably also have some scars, a natural tooth replaced with an implant, a in-grown nail removed or something like that. Lost fingers fall into the same category, they are just a bit more permanent and a lot more exposed.
  • And the main point, strangely overlooked by many: you’re dating a person, not the body. And if this personality just doesn’t fit you, then missing fingers is just another excuse to ditching. Lost fingers can’t spoil a harmonic relationship, but might even make that bond stronger.